Anxiety and Tic Disorders

I have been writing this for about a week, writing bits and pieces here and there. But it’s finally ready for you to read!! 

I’m not quite sure how to start this, as there is so much to say, so I think I will start by telling you why I’m telling you. I have read and watched many of the people I admire on YouTube and in blogs, sharing their stories and experiences with Anxiety and Tourette’s (Zoella's Blog, Capsar's YouTube). They gave me the confidence to share and explain my own story and experiences.

Anxiety.

I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder when I was around the age of 8 years old. I am now nearly 16, so it has been half of my life, but it has gone quickly :)

What is anxiety?

 Everyone feels anxiety, and get anxious, but we all have it on different levels. My mum always explains it like this; “you might be on level 7, but others are just around 1”. When I get anxious I sweat, I begin to shake (whilst writing this I am shaking, because I am anxious to tell you..), I can’t concentrate, my breathing changes,  I get fidgety, I feel uncomfortable, I feel like I need to leave the room and  I feel sick. I haven’t really explained this very well, so I would highly recommend going to Zoe's Blog (linked above) and have a read. She explains it really well!! 

Why and when did it start for me?

I don’t think I will ever be sure when and why my anxiety started. I have always struggled with being around certain things. But there was a time where it really began to show (my behaviour changed around certain situations, so we looked more into it). It became more obvious around the age 7-8 mark.

What am I anxious about?

I am anxious about lots of different things at various times, these are some that I can think of now;

• ·         When I think I, or someone is in danger, even if it in actual fact all is well
• ·         When I think I could get in trouble
• ·         When I think I have done something wrong
• ·         When I think I have to confront someone (even asking a question to my teacher during recess) as I think I am being annoying, when I’m actually not
• ·         When there is a lot of attention on me
• 
  

Have I ever had an anxiety attack?

Yes, I have. There might be a time where I have none in a month, then sometimes I can have more than one in the same day (those attacks are normally about the same thing). I find myself very lucky, as most of them are small enough that I can sit there, relax, and try and talk myself through the situation. Sometimes I try and leave the situation. Although I have had some that I need to be away from people, and with my family. When I was in year 6 I was stressing so much that I faked sick and went home from school ( when I think about it now, having an anxiety attack is a pretty good  excuse to go home), but that was my first “big” one that was away from my family. Of course, my parents saw right through the “I feel sick” ploy straight away. When I think about that now I’m glad they did, because they took me back to school so we could explain to my teacher what really was happening (but they did let me have the rest of the day off:)

What do I do to relax?

Through the years I have figured out what works for me, everyone is different so different things will work for different people;

• ·         I tense up parts of my body, then release them.
• ·         Slow breathing (breathing in 5 seconds, breathing out 5 seconds)
• ·         Thinking about different things
• ·         I try not to talk to people, as I sometimes feel like crying
• ·         Reminding myself it will be alright
• ·         I also have an emergency exit card at school, so that when I do have an anxiety attack I can leave the room to go to the office. Although I haven’t used it, as I worry I am being a nuisance. But knowing that if it gets really bad I can leave, no questions asked.

Have I ever been on medication?

I have. A few years ago my anxiety levels were quite high, so I was put on an anti-anxiety medication. This helped in amazing ways! One thing I achieved whilst on the medication was being able to walk home from school by myself. That might not seem much of an achievement to some, but it meant the world to me! I was on the medication for about 2 years. As well as being on medication I have seen a few different psychologists, luckily I have only had to see them every now and then.

Tic Disorder

 As well as having an anxiety disorder, I also have a General Tic Disorder which was discovered just before I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. We discovered it when I was getting blisters on my fingers by rubbing them together, we went to our doctor and he noticed other things. He referred me to a paediatric-neurologist who helped us out. When he was explaining it to me, he said that I just have a lot of energy in my body, and the only way I can release the energy is to do my tics. This made me a lot comfortable, and something I tell people when they are curious about why I have to do my tics.

Does this mean I have Tourette’s?

No, when I was first diagnosed I was told that to be diagnosed with Tourette’s, you had to have;

• ·         vocal tics
• ·         motor tics
• ·         have had it for more than a certain amount of time
• ·         had to have had no break from them (can’t have had a tick free few months)

As I don’t have any vocal tics, I wasn't diagnosed with Tourette's.

What do people with a tic disorder do?

Everyone has different tics. Some people might only have tics that use the muscles in their face, and some might only have vocal tics. I have several tics and have to use many different muscles to do them, just a few are;

• ·         A grimace on my face
• ·         Moving the back of my shoulders
• ·         Tightening my stomach muscles
• ·         Tightening the muscles around my knees.

Do I do them all at the same time?

Sometimes I will do a few tics at the same time; it really depends where I am. But I physically can’t do them all at the same time.

Does it hurt?

When I have been doing them quite a lot in a short space of time, it does start to hurt. But there is one that I really don’t like doing because it hurts and is uncomfortable every time I do it.

Do I constantly have to do them?

Depending on how I am feeling (if I am anxious, etc.) I might be just sitting there for a space of time constantly doing some tics. But a lot of the time, I might not even notice myself doing them as I have gotten used to doing them so much.

For some people, they might go a time where they don’t do there tics at all. But I have always (since being diagnosed) always had to do them. I also am noticing more that I wasn't aware of a few years ago. But sometimes they kind of fade, and I don’t notice them as much, and they aren't as sore (but are still there). But they always come back to their previous extent.

How do I overcome them?

I have gotten used to having tics. This year, I will have been diagnosed with a tic disorder for 8 years. Some of them are discreet, and can only really be noticed if you look carefully. But my facial ones are more obvious. But I can hide them by covering my face with my hand when I know I need to do a tic. But it doesn't really bother me if people know. It’s who I am; I don’t want to hide it too much. There is medication for severe cases, but I have never really felt that I have needed it. I also tense up my body, then release, it relaxes my body.

Are there times when I do them more?

Yes, when I am;

• ·         Tired
• ·         Uncomfortable
• ·         Feeling claustrophobic
• ·         Anxious
• ·         Nervous
• ·         Thinking about them

I would also like to mention, that my family has been so helpful and supportive.  My family always listen when I need someone to talk to. And I know they are and will always be there for me. They know when I am feeling anxious or am having trouble with my tics. As soon as I get home I feel relaxed and comfortable. They make me so happy!!

I decided to make this post so I could share this important thing about me with you, and because I believe the more we talk about these sorts of things people will understand more, and won’t be embarrassed by them. And hopefully, you might understand a bit more about neurological disorders.

I hope this might have helped some of you understand a bit more about some neurological disorders. If want more information, visit these websites- Beyond Blue (Anxiety) and Kids Health (Tics + Tourettes) 

If you have any questions, leave a comment below, or message me on my twitter (kinah97, link above to the right)

~kinahgrace

Favourite pic;

This was taken in the back hall of my church a few months ago-